Conflict in Love

The quarrel has become the relationship's weather, and pressing your case — however right you are — only feeds it. Halt halfway: drop the need for the other side to concede, and take the dispute to something impartial — a counsellor, a trusted elder, or simply time. Look also at the conflict's true root: the I Ching locates it in the beginning — expectations never made explicit, agreements assumed rather than spoken. And check the inner court first: the war between your own head and heart usually opens the outer one.

Conflict is contaminating the search: bitterness from a past relationship arguing inside you, or a new connection that starts as sparring — testing, scoring, debating. Neither can carry love. Don't begin bonds in contention mode; what starts as a contest stays one. And drop the lawsuit against fate — the running argument with the universe about what you're owed. Disengage from the question "why is this so hard?" entirely; the peace that follows is what makes you approachable.